Being in the Left Lane, Stuck Behind a Fucking Minivan

It all started at 7:30 am in front of the Starbucks at Mockingbird Station... I was outside having a smoke with the Guy who works the cash register, talking about coffee, when along comes Laura in all her glory! Don't get me wrong, a super sweet lady... just do not talk to her...

When I say "Glory", I mean "Redness". Red hair, red lipstick, red earings, red blush, red necklaces, with a red shirt, red socks, and red shoes to accent the bright red jump suit. I don't know if she meant to, but she even had the red lipstick all over her teeth. Did I mention that she loved to talk! Not many people are here at this time, my car is up front, and I get stuck in a conversation about cars. Now dont' get me wrong, I am no vehicle know-it-all, but I know a thing or two about cars, DEFINATELY more than Laura, at least I can pronounce "Audi", as she talked about my "Otti". She said that she knew "because of the symbol on the front." (OOOO -- intertwining) Then, she proceeded to name all the cars in the parking lot, as well as a couple others as she got some of the cars wrong and we had to discuss the car that she said and why she made the mistake...

So after about 20 minutes , and a HI-5 offered, by Laura, to the manager that I was talking to, for "Great Coffee". We return insid. I proceed to my table, put my headphones back on, and continue to finish my writing. And dear old Laura goes to the table that the only other patron is at, and proceeds to talk to him about the newspaper he is reading. Now this guy is nice, and he lasted 10 minutes... I had obviously taken off the headphones, and was easily able to catch that she is all dressed up to go get her drivers liscense...

My stomach drops, my knees begin to tremble. What the hell did this old lady say? Please O' Merciful Lord, tell me it's not true!!!

Now again, I have nothing against old people, I think that they are sweet, and when you lick them, they taste of peach cobbler. I just am under the idea that they just should not drive... It's just plain dangerous!

I can just see it now, Laura in her cadillac leaning out the window trying to talk to the car that is passing her because she is going to slow, swerving all over the road.

But unfortunately, I found out the truth... later that day, somehow, someway that is beyond my comprehension, I see Laura again... This time ON 75, she is in front of me, I am late, and I can't get around. I hate being in the left lane, stuck behind a fucking minivan...

PS. now I hate old people too...